MY FIRST TOMATO !

WOW! I went out on my balcony today to check up on my two tomato vines and wouldn't you know it, I found my first ripe tomato of the year! Now this wouldn't be historic for me were it not for the fact that I bought these two vines back in June for $5 each and didn't start producing little tomatoes until September. Oh yes, they flowered all summer, but no tomatoes followed. I was convinced that I had purchased sterile plants. So, early September I decided to get the big ole scissors and teach those vines a lesson and cut them down to the stump, when what did I see but several tiny green tomatoes! I could only conclude that they must have heard me grabbing the scissors and like little constipated vines, popped out these little buds. I was delighted.

I watched them carefully each and every day, pampering them all the way. I watched them grow bigger and bigger. Finally, I noticed a green one had turned red! This was going to be a great day, for I was about to harvest my first tomato. All of 1 1/2 inch diameter, I carefully pulled it off the vine. Cupping it gently in the palm of my hand, I transported it on foot through the living room and then the dining room, finally reaching the kitchen.

There she was, unharmed, unbruised, having made the long trip without a scratch. I had a $10 tomato that must have weighed in at a whopping one ounce and I was going to let the world know! The paparacci came in as cameras were flashing like an electrical storm on a hot, sultry Spring afternoon in the Deep South. Surely this event had to be posted, I told myself. It's not everyday that one can hold a tomato at $160 a pound. This was surely the greatest purchase I had made, only eclipsed by my purchase of 100 shares of Enron some years back that to this day I still cringe when reading anything that starts with E.